Argh

I have had the same hairstyle since i was 4, I'm not the bald one by the way.

I went to answer the door this morning and tripped over the dog while opening the door, went flying through the doorway into the poor gas man. Thankfully i was saved from injury by aforementioned man, i really hope he doesn't sue me, he looked scared shitless. It was like a scene from that sabotage video. Of course i mostly feel sorry for Bess, my poor dog.

I will be skipping along to the newsagents to purchase the new GQ when it comes out, i shall pretend i have a man and not that i am a completely sad old hag with a Robert Pattinson fixation. Thinking about it, i might not skip as have never been very good at it and don't want to endanger any lives.

I have been trying to write a book, it's not going very well, my sister says it's a pile of crap, in the nicest possible way. Actually she asked me if the dog had written it, i love her and all but if she doesn't start been nice to me i have some very incriminating things i could post on
youtube.

I have a new scar to add to the ever growing number on my face, I always land on my face, usually my forehead breaks the fall. SWING + FACE = 3 STITCHES = YEY!